Dealing with the loss of her grandma

by Red Lotus Mama on July 25, 2012 · 4 comments

in Family,Parenting,Princess D,Relationships

Like all little girls and their grandmas, Princess D had a very special relationship with her Grandma (my former mother-in-law). They shared a love of pink and shoes. A couple of times a month Princess D would go out to dinner with her Grandma and Grandpa. It became a tradition for them to bring me home a slice of chocolate cake.

On June 4th, Princess D’s Grandma lost her battle with liver disease. Those last days of her life were some of the most emotionally challenging for me because of so many reasons, but the hardest thing was having to tell my daughter that her Grandma had died.

My X and I knew that telling Princess D was something we should do together. The day before the funeral we took her to the park to release 5 pink balloons. With each balloon she said one thing she loved about her Grandma, kissed and hugged it, then released it into the sky. Together we watched the balloons disappear imagining that Grandma was collecting each one of them. Of course Princess D cried, but by the time the last balloon was released the tears were replaced by smiles of the happy memories.

Tonight Princess D went out to dinner with her Grandpa. She was so excited to see him, get her usual mac n’ cheese and bring home a chocolate cake for me. But, for the rest of the evening she kept saying that she was tired and miserable. She piled on the “brattitude” and challenging everything my parents or I asked her to do. Then at bedtime she told me that she wanted her Grandma to read her to sleep and just started crying. I finally realized that not having her Grandma at dinner tonight really affected her because not only was Grandma not at dinner, she was not here to celebrate Princess D’s 7th birthday, she wasn’t sitting in the audience to see Princess D perform at her theatre camp showcase, and there will be so much more that she will miss of Princess D’s life.

Dinners with her Grandpa will always be special, but they will never be the same. I know that over time together Princess D and Grandpa will heal each other’s broken heart.

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{ 4 comments }

Ali July 26, 2012 at 12:32 am

I am so sad for your loss…big hugs to your entire family. I think date nights with her Grandpa are a great idea for them both to heal and remember her together. I love the idea of the pink balloons, too, to focus on wonderful memories.

Thinking of you all, and wishing you peace in the memories you shared.

Nancy (@ Spinning My Plates) July 26, 2012 at 8:04 am

Awww. Poor thing. My heart hurts for her. I hope her sadness can be pushed away with the happy memories they shared together.

lceel July 26, 2012 at 9:07 am

Poor Princess. It’s hard for her because she really doesn’t understand. What she REALLY needs to know, though, is that she needs to help her Grandpa. As bad as she feels, he feels YEARS worse.

My heart goes out to both of them.

Bita Ehsanipour July 26, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Aw, Nicole, I am so sorry for your family’s loss. Remembering your former mother-in-law with the pink balloons was such a beautiful idea. I will keep you all in my thoughts & prayers – Kisses to Princess D <3

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